


the state of being (you)

by unicornduke



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Cuddles everywhere, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Nat, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Clint, Lots of cuddles, Misunderstandings, Other, Tony has no filter, ace clint, and that's not good here, transvengers assemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornduke/pseuds/unicornduke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't until later that Clint realized he was lucky that he was ace. It would have been hard to explain the gender thing to someone he was having sex with. Since that wasn't something he wanted to do, it worked out okay. </p><p>People kept their clothes on around him and he kept his clothes on, he didn't try to date, there was nothing to worry about. It worked out, even when he found Nat. Until the Avengers. Because some people have no filters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the state of being (you)

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be focused on gender things but the ace stuff got in there pretty heavy. Oh well. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It wasn't until later that Clint realized he was lucky that he was ace. It would have been hard to explain the gender thing to someone he was having sex with. Since that wasn't something he wanted to do, it worked out okay.

People kept their clothes on around him and he kept his clothes on, he didn't try to date, there was nothing to worry about. It worked out, even when he found Nat. Until the Avengers. Because _some_ people have no filters.

~~

Nat knew his secrets but that's because he told his secrets to Nat when they told Clint their secret. That's when Clint and Nat basically became platonic life partners.

The rest of the Avengers, well, they probably knew more than his file said but he never wrote down his secret and Coulson had taken it to his grave. Or not-grave, as it was.

But Clint had no intention of telling the rest of the Avengers the full story. They didn't need to know. And if they still got the wrong idea of what he and Nat were to each other, well that was their failure. Clint was just very good at cuddling.

On one sunny day, Clint got up and put on his comfy clothes, yoga pants and a baggy sweatshirt, not bothering to bind. He wasn't going to the common level until dinner and didn't need to leave his apartment at all. A real lazy day. He left his hearing aids on his bedside table and laid on the couch for a few hours, browsing blogs and laughing at dumb youtube videos.

Nat showed up around noon, cargo pants and baggy hoodie hanging off his frame, hiding the curve of his hips and binder keeping his chest under control. His hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the base of his neck. He signed _Male day_ at Clint and joined him on the couch.

They sat next to each other for a while, sides pressed together as they watched a show on Clint's computer. It wasn't long before Nat scooted back against the arm of the couch and gestured for Clint to come over. Clint grinned and laid back against Nat, careful to lean most of his weight on Nat's stomach rather than his chest. Binder compression was good for boob squishing but not the greatest for breathing.

Nat draped his arms over Clint's shoulders and squeezed him tight for an instant, his body curling around Clint, legs tightening on Clint's sides.

Clint basked in it, the tight grip and warmth from Nat. He curled his hands around Nat's, squeezing back just as tight. Nat was so important and while sometimes one or the other of them didn't feel up to touching, it didn't matter. Nat was the most important person in his life and he would gladly die for him.

They settled in again, Clint resting his hand on Nat's knee where it was propped up between him and the back of the couch. Every so often, Nat would run his hands through Clint's hair, rubbing gently at his scalp. It felt amazing.

Clint was absorbed in the show they were watching and didn't notice when Nat dropped off to sleep. The captions were on and the sound off as normal and when the episode finished, Nat was out, hands linked on Clint's chest. He was feeling tired and slowly set his laptop on the floor before turning onto his side and pillowing his head on Nat's stomach.

Nat was the best pillow.

~~

The first thing Clint noticed when he woke up was the tension in Nat's body. His abs were like rocks. Clint picked up his head and blinked at the sunlight right in his eyes. It was close to sunset and the sun was shining right into his face. He shoved his face back into Nat's stomach and abruptly remembered that was what woke him up.

Tense Nat. Right.

Clint sat up properly, rubbing the sleep goop out of his eyes. Nat looked upset more than anything, arms crossed, mouth turned down at the corners and a wrinkle between his eyes.

 _What wrong,_ Clint signed, tilting his head to the side slightly.

Nat didn't even sign, just pointed to behind Clint. He turned, swearing when he saw Tony standing at the edge of the room.

Tony was talking, far too rapidly for Clint to even lipread a tiny bit and he could feel the vibrations of Nat talking back. But Tony looked tired, more than usual, dark circles under his eyes, sallow skin and a slight shake to his hands.

Clint turned back to Nat, pointed at him and signed, _Why freak out?_

He sighed. _He sees us._ Nat signed quickly before hopping off the couch and disappearing into Clint's bedroom. Clint shrugged. He didn't give a shit what Tony thought of them but Nat did like to keep his secrets close.

He had to deal with Tony first and then he'd check in on Nat.

When Clint turned back to Tony, he found him backing towards the elevator, repeating something that looked like sorry. Clint hopped off the couch, easily catching up to Tony and wrapping a hand around his wrist. Tony jerked to a stop despite Clint's gentle grip and he screwed up his face, in some kind of distress.

Clint just raised an eyebrow. There was a wary type of friendship between all the Avengers that came with watching each others backs with some doing better than others. Clint and Nat obviously were qps, Tony had some kind of platonic science partnership with Bruce. Nat and Steve were good friends who definitely enjoyed taking the piss out of each other and Steve had his lunches with Bruce.

While Clint and Tony weren't super duper bffs, they liked playing dumb video games at 3 in the morning together. They bonded.

So Clint wasn't really bothered by Tony coming into his rooms and tugged him back towards the couch. He ignored whatever Tony was saying because it mostly looked like more apologies and laid down on the couch. With the grip he still had on Tony's wrist, he gently pulled Tony on top of him so Tony was laying on top of him.

Clint wrapped his arms around Tony's back and he stiffened for an instant before melting into Clint's embrace.

“Good?” Clint asked, rubbing Tony's back a little.

Tony nodded and said something that Clint could feel but not hear.

“Can't hear you so I hope it wasn't important.” Clint said, “But it's all good, we'll talk when you wake up.”

Tony shifted, tucking his arms closer to his chest. Clint didn't miss that one of his hands ended up over the arc reactor but he figured it would be better not to say anything.

Clint kept rubbing his hand up and down Tony's back and eventually Tony drifted off.

Nat came back out and gently tucked one of Clint's hearing aids in before settling on the floor next to Clint's head.

“Why did he come down here?” Clint asked, moving one of his hands down so he could hold Nat's hand.

“He said something about JARVIS and a lack of surveillance in the apartment and then freaked out when he saw we were cuddling.” Nat said, tucking his hand and Clint's into his hoodie pocket.

Clint gestured for his phone by making a grabby hand with the one draped over Tony's back. Nat huffed and set his phone in his free hand. Clint opened his phone and started talking. “JARVIS, how long has Tony been awake? What was he doing before he came up here?”

JARVIS was mostly disabled on Clint and Natasha's shared floor. It had been something they had done the first week they'd moved in. The video cameras had all been covered since JARVIS had protested the destruction of them and he had agreed to a passive audio surveillance that was not recorded. The only thing they had left alone was the bio-metrics array that JARVIS controlled and used as a security and resident monitoring system.

Clint and Natasha preferred speaking to JARVIS through their phones and electronics, although they occasionally used his audio calling system.

“Master Stark was awake for forty-seven hours prior to now.” JARVIS said from the phone. “He slipped briefly into REM sleep before having a nightmare. That was approximately twenty hours ago.” JARVIS paused. “He was checking the camera feeds throughout the tower for some purpose that he did not inform me of. Sir panicked and came down here when I informed him that there was no surveillance cameras uncovered on your floor.”

“Ah,” Clint said, setting his phone on Tony's back. “That would do it.”

Nat snorted and bumped his head against Clint's. “Poor thing was probably surviving on coffee and adrenaline.”

“Yeah. And got really confused when he saw us.” Clint added, watching Nat's face fall.

“If I may Agents.” JARVIS said from Clint's phone, partially muffled by Tony's back. Clint popped the phone back up so he could hear it properly. “Given Sir's previous online friendships, I do not believe that your genders will be an issue.”

“Tony has online friends?” Nat asked.

“Indeed Agent Romanov.” JARVIS said. The screen flicked through several different forum pages, most about programming and engineering. “He spends a fair amount of time online where his friendships are not affected by the Stark name. He made some friends with people of various genders and even conducted research on identities.”

“Huh.” Clint said. “Who knew Stark was a softie?”

“Well now he is,” Nat said. “A few years ago, probably not so much.” He sighed and hopped up. “Guess I'll get some dinner from upstairs for us.”

“Thanks Nat.” Clint said, tugging Nat's hand until he leaned in. Clint kissed Nat's cheek and let him go.

~~

Several times Tony got restless in his sleep. Each time, Clint soothed him into sleeping longer. Nat came in with dinner and stuck their portions in the fridge and ate his own sitting on the floor near Clint.

Clint had long since taken his hearing aid out and when Nat hooked up his laptop to the tv, they left the sound muted and the captions on. They went through some episodes of a tv show on Nat's To-Watch list and then switched over to _Pacific Rim_.

The first sign of waking from Tony was a low groan and slow stretch. He then burrowed his face back into Clint's chest. After a few minutes, he said something, but Clint couldn't hear him.

“Can't hear you.” Clint said, turning back to the movie. Stacker Pentecost was giving the most rousing speech Clint had ever read and he knew Nat was speaking along with it. _Pacific Rim_ was one of Nat's all time favorite movies. Possibly might be Clint's as well. Maybe. He _definitely_ wasn't speaking along with it.

Nat handed up Clint's hearing aid and he put it in.

“Repeat that?” Clint asked the top of Tony's head.

“This was squishier than I expected.” Tony repeated, pushing himself up onto his elbow.

“Well, I'm glad my chest surprised you.” Clint said, stretching now that Tony was partially off him.

Tony pointed at him. “I thought transman before. Yes, no?”

“Ehhh,” Clint made a so-so gesture. “Not quite, masculine genderqueer.”

“Oh.” Tony was silent for a moment before turning to Nat. “And you?”

Nat raised an eyebrow and didn't answer. Clint was expecting that though. Nat generally kept his gender stuff on the down low. Other than that time he crashed a high society party dressed to the nines in a three piece suit and charmed all the women there before doing a magical-girl style transformation to feminine in front of everyone. It was pretty wild.

Clint's left leg had gone numb a while ago and the pins-and-needles kicked in pretty quick. Clint started shifting his leg, trying to make the prickling go away faster.

“Whoa there,” Tony said, with a leer. “Getting frisky are you?”

Clint froze. He couldn't fucking believe Tony said that. “What the fuck.” He forced himself to say. He sat up, scooting himself out from under Tony. The friendly mood of the room abruptly fell away.

“How exactly,” Nat cut in, voice icy as the Russian winter. “does a platonic cuddle immediately turn into something sexual?”

Clint shuddered. He thought he wouldn't have to worry about this shit again. He started to get up, definitely avoiding looking at Tony but Nat took his hand and pulled him to a stop. He looked at him for a long moment then Nat tugged Clint down next to him.

“Okay, Tony.” Nat said, “Look Clint in the face and tell him you're never going to say something sexual like that to him again.”

There was silence.

Clint felt sick. He got up, shaking off Nat's grip and headed into his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and flopped onto his bed. Pulling the blankets over his head, Clint curled up under them and shook. He didn't want that, he just was fucking helping Tony sleep and the asshole came back with that.

A few minutes later, Nat came in and sat on the bed next to Clint.

“I've got your dinner and an apology from Tony.” Nat said, quiet through the blanket and his hearing air. He patted Clint's shoulder through the blanket.

Clint flipped the blankets off his head. “And he's serious about it?”

Nat nodded and wiggled the dinner plate at him.

“Fiiiine,” Clint said. He sat up against the headboard and Nat dropped the plate in his lap.

He ate in silence, Nat fiddling with his phone. It was mostly comfortable silence, although Nat was clearly pissed at Tony. _Clint_ was still pissed at Tony.

“I told JARVIS we weren't coming up to the common floor tonight.” Nat said. He took Clint's empty plate and shoved it onto the bedside table. “I'm staying here tonight.”

Clint shrugged. “Sounds good to me.” He wiggled around and got his sports bra off while Nat took off his binder.

They settled into sleep, Clint on his back and Nat on his side, their hands just touching.

Maybe it would seem better in the morning.

~~

Nat was already gone when Clint got out of bed. He laid there for almost an hour, wallowing in the disappointment of what the previous day had brought. So much for relaxing and have a good day.

He finally got up and headed for the kitchen. Nat had clearly been in and out as there was a pot of coffee already made. His phone was on the counter, message alert blinking. Clint picked it up and sorted through his messages. There were two from Steve about dinner the night before, one from Nat and one from JARVIS.

He opened Nat's first, which was just a request for a lunch out and a note on feminine pronouns for the day. Clint opened JARVIS's message: a video file. The video was from last night, showing Nat explaining very clearly why Tony's comment was unacceptable and Tony apologizing. Sincerely even.

Clint shrugged. Time would tell if Tony actually meant it.

~~

Just before Clint left for lunch, JARVIS pinged his phone.

“Yeah?” Clint asked.

“Sir wishes to meet with you on the common floor for a moment.” JARVIS said through the phone speaker. “He assured me it would take less than five minutes.”

Clint scowled. He wasn't sure he wanted to see Tony. But Tony had already apologized once through the video.

Grumbling, Clint took the elevator up to the common floor. If Tony made him late to lunch with Nat, there'd be hell to pay. Maybe. Clint was pretty damn good at making himself late half the time anyway.

Tony was waiting near the elevator when Clint got off. He looked better than the day before, his color back and steady. He wouldn't meet Clint's eyes.

“So I had a long conversation with Romanov, I got showed the error of my ways, I looked shit up and here, this is for you.” Tony shoved a small box towards Clint. “Okay bye.” Tony took off into the kitchen, leaving Clint gaping after him.

The box was tiny, smaller than his palm. Clint opened it and inside was a piece of paper. He picked it up and underneath was a solid black ring. It was smooth and wide, almost the exact same as his previous ace ring.

Clint plucked the ring out and turned over the paper.

Tony had written on it:

_Romanov told me what happened to your other ring. This one is vibranium and has a tracker built into it._

Clint carefully slipped the ring onto his right middle finger and got back in the elevator. The weight of it perfectly matched the ring that was lost in the implosion of the Pegasus base. It was a mixed blessing that he never wore it while on duty. On one hand, the ring had been buried with all his other possessions. On the other, that bastard probably would have made Clint discard it once he realized it was special.

By the time the elevator reached ground level, Clint was composed. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, Agent Barton?”

“Thank Tony for me, please.”

~~

Lunch with Nat turned into spending the afternoon at SHIELD's New York base, following Phil around as he went against medical advice and tried to get work done. Tried being key since both Clint and Nat were skilled at distractions. And just sitting on Phil if necessary.

Which is how they all ended up cuddling on Phil's office couch watching reality tv shows on the fold out wall screen. Phil had all the cool toys.

The ring on Clint's finger still felt weird after not wearing one for so long and he messed with it all afternoon. It must have caught Phil's attention after a while and when Clint moved to touch it again, Phil caught his right hand in a gentle grip.

On Phil's other side, Nat leaned in to inspect it.

“Stark's apology?” Phil asked, hands warm on Clint's.

Clint snorted. Of course Phil found out about the incident. “Yeah.” Clint paused. “Well, kinda. The words apology and sorry were no where to be found but I think that's what the intent was.”

Phil smiled. “Well, if it works for you, it works for me.”

Clint gave him a skeptical look. That wasn't like Phil at all. Sneaky revenge was his favorite thing.

Sensing Clint's disbelief, Phil sighed. “There may or may not have been plans to accidentally douse his lab with fire extinguishers if he didn't apologize.”

Clint snorted and draped his right arm around Phil's shoulder. “That's the least subtle plan I've heard you come up with in a while.”

Nat turned and stuck her feet over the couch arm, laying her head into Phil's lap. “That's because I wouldn't let him do anything more stressful.” She said, taking one of Phil's hands and laying it on her stomach.

“She would have sat me in a chair to use it.” Phil said, running his free hand across Nat's hair.

“Good.” Clint said. He bumped his head into Phil's. “You need to behave.”

“I behave really well.” Phil protested, laughing at their outraged expressions.

“That's why we had to come and make you stop working, huh.” Nat said, smiling up at him.

“You don't need to take care of me.” Phil said, “I am an adult.”

Clint nudged Phil. “We take care of each other, you know that.” He said, leaning his head against Phil's, shifting his left hand to Nat's hair.

“Yes, yes I do.” Phil said, tugging on Clint's right hand to bring them closer.

They dozed there, on and off until Nat's phone rang. It was Bruce, making sure they'd be back for dinner that night.

They set off for the Tower together, Clint and Nat bracketing Phil. That was how Strike Team Delta functioned. But maybe, just maybe it was time to let some others in.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind, you really aren't supposed to sleep with a binder on so Nat isn't really being safe. That being said, I've fallen asleep in a binder before so if it's a certain type you might be okay for a little while. Chest size also might be a factor. 
> 
> I didn't incorporate a lot of signing but I did my best with Deaf Clint. However I'm not Deaf so if I messed up, send me a message.


End file.
